a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You are a genius and a whore.
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