i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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