I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
