redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
