This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
are you so shy because you have an std?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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