scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
