return my video game
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
