I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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