I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize