Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
