Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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