a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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