all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
