ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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