Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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