Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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