coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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