you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
