Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
