Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
what day is it and did you see me today?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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