Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
