If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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