I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
