Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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