Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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