i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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