bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i barfeds in our rink
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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