I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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