Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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