Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
