Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
