She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
