Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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