Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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