you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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