I CAN MOONWALK!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
