KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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