Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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