Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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