I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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