even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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