dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I believe in your delicious
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
