Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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