You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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