great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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