So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
