my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
