some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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