i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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