Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Text me some of your sweat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
