I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
