Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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