I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
