don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
