toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
