Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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