I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
