i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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