You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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