Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
