Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
