I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
