We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
