Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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