what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
