OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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