Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
birth control should be required to get into college
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
