I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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