never play flip cup with pint glasses
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
