dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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